Mother of two, keeping it real.

I realize that most of my posts skim over the bad and focus on the good. It's not to try and project some perfect family image, but rather, it's much harder to discuss the hard stuff, and who wants to read a debbie downer post?  Well, if you don't, it's time to move on from today's post.

Being a mother is hard, being a mother of two is harder. I can't even imagine how people with more than two do it. Or single parents. Each day seems to be filled with the constant struggle to stay on schedule. Must get up before baby wants to eat to shower, feed baby, finished getting dressed, feed dog, get Sullivan eating breakfast and getting dressed, make bottles, feed baby again before running out the door to make school drop off for Sullivan. Read between those lines: keeping Sullivan focused on his tasks, dealing with whining, getting spit up on right after getting dressed, etc, etc...When we get home from work and school, usually around 5:45 or 6:00, we begin again. Rush to get some sort of dinner on the table, bath kids, feed baby (for like an hour cause she likes to fill up before bed), read to Sullivan and try and get him lights off by 8pm, get Evie down for the night. Rinse and repeat, Monday through Friday. It's exhausting and I'm so thankful Evie is a good sleeper or I'm not sure I would make it!

When is our quality time in between the rushing and the schedules and the have to dos? I can remember struggling with this with Sullivan when he was a baby. I guess we save it for the weekend, but that doesn't seem like enough. Even our weekends are filled with things to accomplish and places to be. I mention this because Sullivan has been having some rough days at school (and sometimes at home). Some days he's great and some days, the teacher is calling me by 10 am because he's not following directions, hitting, having meltdowns.  He is very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt very easily. He is also a perfectionist. If he can't do something perfectly the first time, he gets upset and is very hard on himself.   We are trying to emphasize using words to express how we are feeling rather than acting out, but it's a hard lesson to teach and to practice. Because it seems to be one extreme or the other, I've been wondering if it's possibly tied to foods he eats.  I'm about to read this book to see if I can find any correlation.  We've definitely seen him go crazy after red40, so I already try to keep him away from that.  I try and limit sugar exposure as well, but sugar is hiding in all kinds of places. With a picky eater, finding healthy foods he will eat is a daily struggle.

I feel so much guilt about what Sullivan is going through. He is so freaking smart and he's a leader and very independent, but it kills me when his teacher calls about his behavior.What did we do wrong? How do we give him the tools he needs to handle his emotions in a positive way? Would he be having these bad days if I had stayed home with him more or if I had time to cook home made healthy meals every night? I know every parent feels guilt about one thing or another, but dang, it sux. I've read other books and lots of articles on parenting to try and be more proactive, but so far I haven't found the magic key. Maybe it's just a phase (granted, a long phase). I'm willing to do whatever I need to help him, if someone could just tell me what that is!

I'm also struggling with the guilt around breastfeeding. I know, I know. She would be fine on formula, but I have this desire to exclusively breastfeed her as long as I can. 1. Evie is our last child, and I want to cherish this time because it will be over in a flash, 2. I really believe it's better for her, 3. it saves us a ton of money to not buy formula. But it is freaking hard to keep up while working full time. Finding time to go pump 3 times a day at work and crossing my fingers I get enough to make the bottles for the next day is stressful. I'm lucky to have a nice set up at work to be able to go pump 3 times a day. Now I just need a cheerleader to help me remember that I can do it and my body can produce enough milk for her and it's worth it! Go boobies!

My poor husband gets almost no attention since I go to bed about 30 minutes after the kids most nights. I know this too will pass, but I need a vent day.

Evie - 3 months

February 27th to March 27th

I haven't gotten the photos from my camera for the 3 month post, but have plenty from my phone to share! Evie had a busy month! She is still sleeping great, although the transition to daycare messed us up for a few days.  She usually goes down about 8 pm, gets a dream feed at 11 or so from Daniel, gets up at 4 am for me to feed her, then goes back to sleep until 7 or so.

She's in size 2 diapers, but will probably be moving up to 3 soon. She is the happiest baby! Smiles constantly and only fusses if Mom is too slow to feed her or put her to bed.

She's really started to coo and giggle this month.  She's making some hard 'G' sounds and stills says "gee" when she's hungry. She loves Inky the Octopus from her floor mat just like Sullivan did.  She'll grin and giggle and talk to Inky when she's on her mat.

She's starting to grasp the toys that hang above her and is reaching for her feet more.  She also plays with her hands as the second picture below illustrates.  She just seems like such a little lady when she keeps clasping her hands together.  It makes me smile.

Over the last month, we made our first trip to the Coast for Mardi Gras!  Mardi Gras was cold and rainy this year, so Evie and I spent most of the day in the house.  It was great to see family and eat wonderful food! The whole family passed the stomach virus around the weekend prior to and the weekend following our trip. Not fun.

Evie started her daycare on the 19th.  I tried really hard not to cry, but I did anyway.  After almost 3 months at home with her, it was so hard to hand her over to someone else.  She did great, but I was a sappy mess.  She's done really well there, and I know she's well take care of, but I sure love picking her up and seeing those sweet smiles at the end of the day. 

I took the kids over to my grandparents on one of my last days of maternity leave. We all went out to lunch and had a nice long visit.  I'm so lucky to live so close to them, and love that my kids are getting to know their great-grandparents.

Sullivan has been doing pretty good. We have good days and bad days at school.  He thinks he knows everything (wonder where he gets it) and wants to be the boss of everyone.  I have only myself to blame. :) He LOVES his sister. Seriously. One night as we were laying in bed saying prayers and stuff, he said, " Mom, I just really love Evie." Melted my heart. He's a great big brother.  I hope he's always as loving and protective as he is now. He has also decided he's going to go find and marry Elsa from Frozen. He loves the movie Frozen and plans to go live in her castle with her unless she has already married someone else. He's doing great in soccer!

Evie's first Taylor Grocery visit.

My little soccer star.