Mother of two, keeping it real.

I realize that most of my posts skim over the bad and focus on the good. It's not to try and project some perfect family image, but rather, it's much harder to discuss the hard stuff, and who wants to read a debbie downer post?  Well, if you don't, it's time to move on from today's post.

Being a mother is hard, being a mother of two is harder. I can't even imagine how people with more than two do it. Or single parents. Each day seems to be filled with the constant struggle to stay on schedule. Must get up before baby wants to eat to shower, feed baby, finished getting dressed, feed dog, get Sullivan eating breakfast and getting dressed, make bottles, feed baby again before running out the door to make school drop off for Sullivan. Read between those lines: keeping Sullivan focused on his tasks, dealing with whining, getting spit up on right after getting dressed, etc, etc...When we get home from work and school, usually around 5:45 or 6:00, we begin again. Rush to get some sort of dinner on the table, bath kids, feed baby (for like an hour cause she likes to fill up before bed), read to Sullivan and try and get him lights off by 8pm, get Evie down for the night. Rinse and repeat, Monday through Friday. It's exhausting and I'm so thankful Evie is a good sleeper or I'm not sure I would make it!

When is our quality time in between the rushing and the schedules and the have to dos? I can remember struggling with this with Sullivan when he was a baby. I guess we save it for the weekend, but that doesn't seem like enough. Even our weekends are filled with things to accomplish and places to be. I mention this because Sullivan has been having some rough days at school (and sometimes at home). Some days he's great and some days, the teacher is calling me by 10 am because he's not following directions, hitting, having meltdowns.  He is very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt very easily. He is also a perfectionist. If he can't do something perfectly the first time, he gets upset and is very hard on himself.   We are trying to emphasize using words to express how we are feeling rather than acting out, but it's a hard lesson to teach and to practice. Because it seems to be one extreme or the other, I've been wondering if it's possibly tied to foods he eats.  I'm about to read this book to see if I can find any correlation.  We've definitely seen him go crazy after red40, so I already try to keep him away from that.  I try and limit sugar exposure as well, but sugar is hiding in all kinds of places. With a picky eater, finding healthy foods he will eat is a daily struggle.

I feel so much guilt about what Sullivan is going through. He is so freaking smart and he's a leader and very independent, but it kills me when his teacher calls about his behavior.What did we do wrong? How do we give him the tools he needs to handle his emotions in a positive way? Would he be having these bad days if I had stayed home with him more or if I had time to cook home made healthy meals every night? I know every parent feels guilt about one thing or another, but dang, it sux. I've read other books and lots of articles on parenting to try and be more proactive, but so far I haven't found the magic key. Maybe it's just a phase (granted, a long phase). I'm willing to do whatever I need to help him, if someone could just tell me what that is!

I'm also struggling with the guilt around breastfeeding. I know, I know. She would be fine on formula, but I have this desire to exclusively breastfeed her as long as I can. 1. Evie is our last child, and I want to cherish this time because it will be over in a flash, 2. I really believe it's better for her, 3. it saves us a ton of money to not buy formula. But it is freaking hard to keep up while working full time. Finding time to go pump 3 times a day at work and crossing my fingers I get enough to make the bottles for the next day is stressful. I'm lucky to have a nice set up at work to be able to go pump 3 times a day. Now I just need a cheerleader to help me remember that I can do it and my body can produce enough milk for her and it's worth it! Go boobies!

My poor husband gets almost no attention since I go to bed about 30 minutes after the kids most nights. I know this too will pass, but I need a vent day.

Evie - 3 months

February 27th to March 27th

I haven't gotten the photos from my camera for the 3 month post, but have plenty from my phone to share! Evie had a busy month! She is still sleeping great, although the transition to daycare messed us up for a few days.  She usually goes down about 8 pm, gets a dream feed at 11 or so from Daniel, gets up at 4 am for me to feed her, then goes back to sleep until 7 or so.

She's in size 2 diapers, but will probably be moving up to 3 soon. She is the happiest baby! Smiles constantly and only fusses if Mom is too slow to feed her or put her to bed.

She's really started to coo and giggle this month.  She's making some hard 'G' sounds and stills says "gee" when she's hungry. She loves Inky the Octopus from her floor mat just like Sullivan did.  She'll grin and giggle and talk to Inky when she's on her mat.

She's starting to grasp the toys that hang above her and is reaching for her feet more.  She also plays with her hands as the second picture below illustrates.  She just seems like such a little lady when she keeps clasping her hands together.  It makes me smile.

Over the last month, we made our first trip to the Coast for Mardi Gras!  Mardi Gras was cold and rainy this year, so Evie and I spent most of the day in the house.  It was great to see family and eat wonderful food! The whole family passed the stomach virus around the weekend prior to and the weekend following our trip. Not fun.

Evie started her daycare on the 19th.  I tried really hard not to cry, but I did anyway.  After almost 3 months at home with her, it was so hard to hand her over to someone else.  She did great, but I was a sappy mess.  She's done really well there, and I know she's well take care of, but I sure love picking her up and seeing those sweet smiles at the end of the day. 

I took the kids over to my grandparents on one of my last days of maternity leave. We all went out to lunch and had a nice long visit.  I'm so lucky to live so close to them, and love that my kids are getting to know their great-grandparents.

Sullivan has been doing pretty good. We have good days and bad days at school.  He thinks he knows everything (wonder where he gets it) and wants to be the boss of everyone.  I have only myself to blame. :) He LOVES his sister. Seriously. One night as we were laying in bed saying prayers and stuff, he said, " Mom, I just really love Evie." Melted my heart. He's a great big brother.  I hope he's always as loving and protective as he is now. He has also decided he's going to go find and marry Elsa from Frozen. He loves the movie Frozen and plans to go live in her castle with her unless she has already married someone else. He's doing great in soccer!

Evie's first Taylor Grocery visit.

My little soccer star.

Evie- 2 months

What has been going on from January 27th to February 27th? Thank goodness for timestamps or I would have no idea!  Evie had her first "sleep through the night" on February 6th.  I think she slept a 6 hour stretch. Daniel did a dream feed at 10 pm and she didn't wake to eat again until 4 am!  Other than a few nights, this has been her sleep schedule since!  After Sullivan was such a terrible sleeper, I never thought I'd have such a good sleeper by 6 weeks old!  I think the dream feeds make all the difference, so thank you Lisa for letting me in on that secret!  Evie is so happy and laid back.  I am very blessed.  She gives the best grins, especially first thing in the morning when she wakes up!  Evie still eats about every 2 hours during the day.  Since she sleeps great at night, I don't mind a bit!  She's still only breastfed.  She's still in the Rogers cradle in our room at night, but mainly naps in her Nap Nanny seat during the day. We had her 2 month appointment on March 10th and she weighed 12 lb 6 oz!  She's 23 inches long. She had a stomach bug the day of her appointment so no shots yet.  

Daniel's dad and step mom came for a visit in early February to meet Evie.  I don't have any photos on this camera, so will have to get some uploaded from elsewhere. It snowed while they were here, although it was just a light dusting and was gone quickly. 

At 5 weeks old, we went to my cousin's wedding in Guntown.  I had hoped to get a family photo since the four of us were dressed up, but it didn't happen. I have some proof below that we did actually get showered and out of the house!  We all went to my grandparents after the wedding for dinner.

Here is our first official family of four photo (selfie).

In the Rogers family cradle looking at her Cradle Cross from O-U Methodist Womens Group

During February, Evie made her first trip to Cleveland to visit Bebe and Fred Daddy. It was my first solo trip with both kids, but it went pretty good. I did miss having Daniel to do the dream feeding at night while I slept! The weather was warm and beautiful for most of our trip, so we got to get out of the house!

On the deck with Bebe in Cleveland

At the Train Museum with Sullivan in Cleveland. 

As you can see below, Sullivan LOVES his baby sister.  He wants to kiss and hug her and tell her he loves her all day.  Sometimes his love can be very "intense". :) He is a wonderful helper!

We've been getting outside or going for a stroll every chance we get.  Unfortunately, there haven't been too many days to do so. 

Evie- 1 month

So tomorrow Evie will be 2 months old, so I figured I had better get her 1 month post done!  Now, can I remember what was going on at 1 month?  Evie is eating every 2 to 3 hours with an occasional 4 hour stretch at night.  She has had growth spurts at 2 weeks and 4 weeks rather than the typical 3, 6, 9.  I had forgotten how hard those times are as she wants to eat constantly!  First two weeks of breastfeeding was just about as challenging as with Sullivan.  Evie latched better from the start and is a fast eater, but MAN, I had forgotten that initial pain and adjustment. Much better now, thankfully.  All in all, she's very laid back and only occasionally has a fussy day where she wants to be held or fed most of the day. Sullivan absolutely LOVES her!  Kisses and hugs her constantly, and has been so helpful.  It's great having an extra pair of hands to give her a pacifier or bring me a burp cloth or even listen for her crying while I'm in the shower!  It really hasn't been an issue with him not being the center of attention any more.

Evie's first real bath on January 9, 2014.

 

We've had lots of visitors during Evie's first month!

Fred Daddy's first visit!

Sherri, Avery and Madeline!

Nanna's first visit!

A few more photos of her first month!

Evelyn "Evie" Chennault Martin

Evie was born December 27, 2013 at 7:56 pm. She weighed 7 lb 13 oz and was 19 1/2 inches long.

I am 4 weeks late writing this post, but better late than never.  The sleep deprivation has already blurred some of my memories of the big day, but I'm going to try and get down what I remember.   I had my regularly scheduled OB appointment that Friday, and knew that induction was going to be on the discussion table since I was one day shy of 41 weeks.  Expecting that the doctor would probably want to induce me that day, Daniel and I got up early to take Sullivan out for breakfast at BBB.  Unfortunately, the kitchen lost our order, so we ended up waiting for an hour and then having to get our breakfast to go.

tired of waiting for breakfast!

last belly pic! 40 weeks 6 days

My appointment went well and the doctor said I could try to start labor on my own over the weekend and we'd induce Monday if it didn't happen or we could go ahead and go to the hospital and break my water.  I had already tried every thing we could think of to trigger labor, so after much debate and some tears, I decided to go ahead and have my water broken that day.  My doctor sent us to go eat lunch before meeting her at the hospital to get things going.  We met our friends Chris and Audrey at Steele's diner for lunch. I had a very healthy lunch of fried catfish! :) I was a nervous wreck all during lunch and on the verge of tears the whole time.  Not sure I tasted any of my food.  It's very different to choose to start labor versus having it start on its own.  It was very hard to choose what I knew was going to be painful natural labor, but the waiting was stressing me out as well. Too many horror stories close to home of babies fine one day and then when the parents show up for scheduled induction, things are no longer fine.  I knew Evie was good, had good fluid, and I wanted to go ahead before we were in a situation of her not doing good and delivery becoming an emergency.

at the doctor

When we got to the hospital, it was PACKED! They actually used the phrase, "there is no room at the inn". All the L & D rooms were full, so they had us in triage? section for several hours.  I had been having steady, but light contractions since my OB appointment. I was at 4 cm at this point.  My doctor came at about 2:30 pm and broke my water.  It took her three tries with the hook thing before she was able to break my water.  She said there was no way my water would have ever broken on its own, which made me feel even better about our decision to go ahead.  I later learned from Corinne that lots of citrus during pregnancy can cause a really think bag, and OJ was one of the only things I craved this pregnancy.  I drank it like crazy! I did not feel the breaking process at all; just the gush of water when she finally got through.  My doctor said she would be back at about 5:30 pm to see if labor had started and was intensifying.  If it wasn't, then she would start a slow pitocin drip.  I was so determined to avoid pitocin, and I started watching the clock from that point on!

finally in a room

We didn't get a L & D room until about 4pm, I believe.  As soon as we got in that room, I was ready to do whatever to encourage contractions!  I did squats, stair steps, sat and bounced on yoga ball.  My contractions did become more regular and were starting to hurt.  My doctor came to check my progress at about 6pm and I was at 7 cm (I think), but I thought my pain was at about an 8 at that point.  Contractions this time around were much more painful than with Sullivan.  I don't know if it was due to her size or what, but I had tons of rectal pressure and it was so much more painful than anything I remember with Sullivan.  The nurses checked on me every hour, so I got in the bed in preparation of that at 7 pm, but they didn't make it in the room until 7:20 or so.  My doctor was busy delivering babies up and down the hall that night!  When they checked me then, they said the lip of cervix was still in the way, so they worked to push that back a bit.  I got out of bed to labor more and almost immediately felt like it was time to push.  Corinne went to get the nurses since I felt like it was time.  They came in and let me push a couple of time and I guess realized it really was time.  I recall them calling the doctor, who was in the lounge next door, and telling her I was about 2 pushes away. People rushed in to the room and were setting up and doing all there stuff while I was already pushing.  I had to push a few more times to get Evie out than I did Sullivan, but still just a handful of times.  Before pushing with Sullivan, I said "I'm insane". Before pushing with Evie, I said, "Please come out baby".  It was so much more painful, I just wanted her out!  It was such a relief when she was finally out!  I didn't have any tearing, but did have a scratch that had to have a stitch.  Evie came out big and beautiful and vocall!  I was so happy to have her in my arms and on my chest.  Love at first sight.

Had to get a picture of Daniel holding her as soon as we got back to the room.

Evie has been a great eater from the start! She lost less t han 5% of her body weight before we left the hospital, had no issues with bilirubin levels, and had gained almost a pound and grown almost 2 inches by her two week appointment. (8lb 10 oz). She's had one growth spurt that wore me out with hourly feedings, but has since averaged about 2 hours during the day and usually 3 hours between feedings at night.  She's finally sleeping great in the cradle in our room, so I'm actually getting good sleep between feeding her. Daniel still will typically give her a bottle of pumped milk after I feed her at 8 or 9 pm to give me a longer stretch to sleep.  It's definitely more challenging having two kids.  No lounging in bed all day!  I get up after my 6 am feeding with Evie to help Sullivan get ready for school and fed.  I'm ready for some sunshine to be able to get out and walk during the day. I can't believe 4 weeks have already passed! I am so blessed!

Something random I just remembered...they didn't give me the nice grippy bottom socks this time.  So, I delivered wearing my lovely santa claus socks.  We watched the tree house show most of my labor, but Enchanted was on the tv during the worst part and delivery.  Just a few random things I don't want to forget. Daniel went to Wendy's at about 10 pm after delivery to get us some food since we hadn't eaten since lunch. Also, the Tupelo Women's hospital has gotten even more progressive since Sullivan's birth. I didn't even have to have an IV port this time around or pitocin to delivery placenta.  They let me drink actual water while in labor instead of dumb ice chips!  Yay for progress!